Cabbages and Condoms – it’s all about the feelings!

Feelings!  What do you think of when you hear that word?

Andy Williams crooning in 1975?  Does it make you think of pain, for example when you slip a disk or break an arm? Or what about sad, mad or glad feelings?

It’s an interesting word and one that Sarah and I have talked about a lot over the past two or three days.

It all started when I looked at Sarah’s face a couple of days ago, whilst waiting in Hong Kong Airport’s ultra-new Departure Lounge on our way to Bangkok. I knew there was something wrong.  Clearly she was still in pain from having slipped her disk, but there was a look which told me something else was on her mind.

It was a different face from the one I’d seen for the past three weeks in China.

If there is one brilliant thing I’ve learnt travelling with Mrs Bailey over the past 9 weeks, it is re -discovering what I found so endearing about her nearly 30 years ago when we first met.  Sarah is a very funny, charismatic person, who brightens up a room simply by being there.  She gets on well with everyone, is always positive and is a real nice person to have around.

Sarah enjoying her Yangtze cruise with Linda and Jan (right)

Sarah enjoying her Yangtze cruise with Linda and Jan (right)

smiley smiley Mrs Smiley

smiley smiley Mrs Smiley at the Panda Park

I have to confess that these qualities I’d taken for granted.  My selfish, work-focussed little World, has meant for the past few years I have been looking too far in the past searching for answers, or trying to work out what the future might hold rather than concentrating on the here and now and what I actually have.  The vogue world today is “mindfulness” and there’s a lot to be said for it.

Living in the moment with the Buddha

Living in the moment with the Buddha

“I feel really sad that we are leaving this tour group” Sarah said quietly, looking down at her shoes.  “What do you mean?” was my quick, staccato, Alpha male response. “They were really nice people.  Linda and Court are lovely, Mags is such a laugh.  The Aussie girls are so much fun…..” She then went through the Group one by one highlighting individual positive traits.

MASTERS with their warriors

MASTERS with their warriors

Probably the best guide we have ever come across – take a bow Carina from G Adventures

Probably the best guide we have ever come across – take a bow Carina from G Adventures

It was clear that there was now a void as we both watched the giant Emirates A380 pull up at the stand, ready to disgorge 600 punters and pick up 600 more, for our next two and a half hours flight down to Thailand.

But there was also something else bothering Sarah.  Yes, we were leaving behind some great people, however a wider train of thought was clearly in her mind.

The last time we’d been at this exact Departure Lounge was six years ago with our son Joe who was 17 at the time.  Just like then, we’d been heading down to Bangkok.  But “little” Joe wasn’t there this time.  He was back at home and as all Mum’s do, they worry and care about their son/daughter no matter what age they are.  We both talked about our last ever family holiday to Thailand which had been a really good one with lots of stand-out moments. Joe was “mistaken” numerous times for Prince Harry (the ginger connection), the celebration (after down-loading online) of his A/S Level Grade ‘A’ in Geography at the interestingly named Cabbages and Condoms restaurant.  How we travelled deep into the jungle on the Burmese border re-tracing the upper reaches of the historic World War II Railway along the River Kwai heading for “Hell Fire Pass”.  Good times and past times.

Joe - remember the reclining Buddha?

Joe – remember the reclining Buddha?

But what was he doing now?  Was he ok?  How was his work going?  Was the house still standing?  Had the cleaning been done?  How was Ella…? How was he getting on with Jack? It was a brain in overdrive mode, reminiscent of when you wake up in the black, early hours of a new morning, mind whirling.

Lads (Joe right –Jack left)

Lads (Joe left – Jack right)

Certainly our travelling to-date has given us many highs.  But there are lows as well.  And two months into our RTW trip and with just under a quarter of our trip completed, this was one of those low times – perhaps more for Sarah in this instance rather than me, but I understood fully where she was coming from.  You do miss people. The constant travelling gives you plenty of time to think and the space afforded makes you realise what you value.  Feelings and senses are heightened.  The powerful cocktail of smell, sound, taste and sight are vivid and tangible. You think in a different way. You react in different ways.

“…and in the morning, we will remember....

“…and in the morning, we will remember….”

This trip is so unlike any traditional two week holiday we’d ever taken before.  That might sound a rather stupid and obvious thing to say.  But you don’t have this “winding down” and “winding up” feeling as you literally count the days before you return to the reality of work.  Here in Chiang Mai (north Thailand), neither of us had a clue what day of the week it was today.  We had forgotten it was November.  Temperatures of 34C and blue skies fool you in terms of dates, times and seasons.

Mr James Duckworth recently sent us a very kind email with an update on his news.  It was a very good read.  I always think that if I can “hear” the person through the words they write, then they have a mastery of English.  James, I hear you.  One of the questions Mr D posed was: “I am curious to know how easily you have adapted to an itinerant (meant in the best possible way) lifestyle which is such a huge difference to the day to day work lifestyle that you had before. Do you worry about things or do you just worry about different things?” 

My abbreviated response was:  “For the first time in my life, I am worry and stress free.  A big thing for me.  I do get stressed when the laptop throws a wobbly because our life is on it, but that is all.  I live for the moment and never get that Sunday night feeling anymore.  Successive Monday’s have seen us flying over Everest, walking on the Great Wall and seeing the Teracotta Warriors, which is so weird.  Yesterday (Monday) we were listening to Radio 2 via the laptop and heard the travel reports about queues on the M3….  The average length of stay is two nights so you are always on the go and it can therefore be tiring but you soon adapt.  I don’t care what happens when we come back, where we will be or what we will do…”

Essentially it is all about this feeling of freedom and gratefulness.  You quickly realise that there are so many people worse off than you.  When you see a family living on a hard shoulder of a motorway, a man with no arms and legs. A person that has never ventured more than 100 miles from home.  It can blow your mind, if you let it, or it can have a positive effect as you accept and realise.  I hope the latter continues to happen.

I have re-read and re-written this blog a number of times.  It has not been an easy one to write.  But I needed to write it.  The fact that it does not flow quite how I would like it to flow, please forgive me.  The switches of tense and style are not great.  But ultimately it is about getting across how we both feel about this “thing” we are doing.  The sights and the people and what we are doing is one thing.  The changes to us as people is quite another.  So this an open letter from the heart rather than the head.  I hope it conveys more than just a review of “another” tourist site.

Categories: South East Asia Blog

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28 thoughts on “Cabbages and Condoms – it’s all about the feelings!

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  1. Lindy

    Hi you two!
    Just keep sharing all this with us please! It’s fantastic to get a glimpse of places and people through your eyes. You really do transport the reader – only trouble is coming back to reality – I’ve found I have to pick the right place to read your blogs; the M&S cafe in Watford the other Saturday somehow didn’t compare, can’t think why not!
    Take care.
    Lindy & David

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bridget

    Really enjoying the trip, third hand. You have with this post answered so many of my unasked questions – had never had you down as a clairvoyant Mark! Does Sarah have editing rights is my one unanswered question?! Continue in reflective mode and I so look forward to our next walk and talk.
    Love to you both
    Bridget & co.

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  3. Louise

    Hi Guys….You’ve certainly been having lots of adventures and seeing some amazing places and meeting great people. Well jel. Enjoying your blogs….and insights into life elsewhere…we really don’t get ( or appreciate) how well off we are compared to others. Our life styles are v comfy overall. No worries,re Its a blog, not a GCSE Eng test..ha ha… A* all the way so far. You might be on a RTW trip but its also a ‘journey’ through life. Did you ever watch Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman going around the world on motor bikes? Great friendship…they went thro’ home sickness,comradery with others, bumpy patches when plans changed, over tired, disappointments but overall felt privileged to witness and join in others lives. You’ll soon be in Aus and with family! Which will be a normality/reality check..then some more travels and before you know it… like Ewan and C …once over half way…you start to count down ……..how little time you have left adventuring! ( word from my niece when she’s on a new venture) …and a little sadness at that fact….
    Wishing you both well….take care and ENJOY EVERY MOMENT 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Paula Tagg

    Nicola’s wedding was a day spent with all the people I care about and love in the world (There are a few people who couldn’t make it! ) To have that all in one space was incredible. I don’t think I have ever smiled so much for so long. Yep Sarah it is all about people! We are all thinking about you and I love telling people about our brave friends. Your doing a remarkable thing. Life can be a drudge sometimes and Philip and I have always said that ‘The living just sometimes gets in the way of the loving’ and as for work………don’t even get me started!

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  5. Richard and Danuta Allen

    Have read all your blogs with great interest. Keep them coming. Do understand all the feelings and emotions you are going through even though our adventures have not been quite as long as yours.
    Travel well, stay safe, look after each other and enjoy making all those incredible memories which will last you a lifetime.
    Danny and Richard.
    P.S. Spectre was great and Bond went up the elevator in Gran Hotel in Mexico City at the beginning of the film just as we did in January this year!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Bert Taylor

    Hello Sarah and Mark,

    I found your last blog very poignant, Shirley and I miss your neighbourly frendliness and admire your
    gutsy determination to continue your travels.

    Everything here is fine and Joe and jack seem to be coping well. Don’t see or hear much of them…!!

    Wish you well in the rest of your travels and enjoy your Christmas wherever you are.

    Shirley and Bert x

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  7. Claire

    Flipping heck – you will be joining the ministry yet!!! I remember feeling homesick after 10 months away – it was watching a Bond Movie that finely did it for me! By the way ‘Spectre’ was great and I no longer fancy Pierce…..it’s Craig now!! Family Weekend good fun- missed you of course – London or Oxford next year, hopefully!
    Little Sis X

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I hear you

    Regards Ian Sent from my iPhone Ian Prescott +44(0)7824894390

    >

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Great writing!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. These are amazing stories, don’t worry about tense! (or being tense hahaha!)
    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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