Happiness is…. A packet of Imodium. Note: This blog contains some nasty stuff!

MARK: Eighty six days in, exactly a third of our trip completed, it had to happen!

Yes, that awful feeling when you know you’ve just seconds to get to the loo before a mass “evacuation” takes place.

Sarah last night (Sunday) started to feel hot and shivery.  So for the first time since we left the UK, we decided to stay in and not go out for dinner.  Both of us were sound asleep by 7.00pm.

This morning it certainly wasn’t GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!  Sarah no better and worse was to come….. CENSORED all to do with the loo – the Imodium packet was quickly opened.

It had to happen sooner or later....

It had to happen sooner or later….

A twenty four hour bug?  Something she had eaten?  Just simply knackered? Neither of us are sure, but the thought of a day trip down to the Mekong Delta by bus involving four hours travelling and then two boats and no guarantee of a loo was enough for us to bail out of what would have been another fascinating trip…

So a good time for me to think and to write, whilst Mrs B sleeps and hopefully gets better.  I really do hope she feels OK tomorrow as we have a 7 hour PUBLIC bus journey over the border from Vietnam in to Cambodia.  But tomorrow is another day.

Get better soon!

Get better soon!

I must admit, I thought we would have had to use the Imodium sooner, but am happy that we got this far.

Damn!  There it is again, that word, “happy”.

It’s a word that just keeps coming up on our travels.  I suppose I must blame Anne for making me think about happiness, after her interesting comment on the Cabbages and Condoms blog a few weeks ago.


Anne recommended a book she was reading at the time called 59 seconds – Think a little, Change a lot, by Richard Wiseman.  I have downloaded it whilst here in Vietnam and I have thoroughly enjoyed the read, particularly the early pages where Wiseman talks about how research shows that people who are the happiest are those that enjoy experiences rather than material goods.

And I suppose that is one of the key drivers of this 9 month voyage of discovery. It has always been a long held belief of mine that quick fix purchases rarely brings long term inner happiness.  Just ask a drug user snorting cocaine, a shopaholic buying another pair of shoes, when he/she already has 100 pairs or a quick sugar fix from a Mars Bar.  So why do I keep eating chocolate?

Looking back over the past week, glancing through some 900 photos I’ve taken, I have analysed what has made me happy.

First up, I wanted to say a few words about our wonderful guide Cham – Chamnan Chey.  Cham, 27, has lead us from Bangkok, through Laos, into Vietnam and will shortly take us overland to his homeland of Cambodia.  He is literally loved by all the children he meets, in what-ever country he visits.  His smiley cap and happy go-lucky personality, hides a lot of hardship in his early life.  As a young boy, he used to dig up with his friends unexploded bombs to sell them on to scrap dealers to make a few dollars for his family. He saw first-hand the terrible effects when things went wrong.  Before that, the three million countrymen who lost their lives in his country during the war.  The day to day struggle just to stay alive.  And yet he is happy.  He is happy with his lot and in the knowledge that in just over five weeks time he will be married.  A truly inspirational young man who has taught me much in the last 20 days.  And when I see him interact with children the way that he does, this has made me very happy.

“Same same – but different” Cham loves children – they love him

“Same same – but different” Cham loves children – they love him*

Smile please

Smile please

I never thought she would do it.  But she did!

I’m talking about Sarah abseiling three times in one day, culminating in a terrifying drop 220ft down into a black, dank limestone cave.  She had no idea what she was letting herself in for, but she had a go and conquered her fears.  I went first and was really glad to get to the bottom.  It was out of my comfort zone, but as it turned out, I was far more concerned about Sarah!  My heart started to race as she clearly lost her footing as she went over the edge.  But bit by bit she gained confidence and down she came.  Happiness is seeing your wife in one piece, despite the rope burn.

Light at the end

Light at the end

Slipping as she enters the cave...

Slipping as she enters the cave…

Half way down the 220ft drop

Half way down the 220ft drop

Safely down...

Safely down…

.... burns to prove it

…. burns to prove it

Vietnam, as Barry Sutlieff rightly said is a “beautiful country, with beautiful people”.  Just looking at the countryside as you pass by on a bus or train, you can’t fail to be happy.  And observing the locals as they go about their daily business also makes you realise you can be happy without very much.

Beauty all around

Beauty all around

Still my fav' shot

Still my fav’ shot

thoughtful and happy

thoughtful and happy

A family breakfast

A family breakfast

But the man that has made me begin to understand what happiness is all about is Mr Hai – or “Skinny Hi” as he is known – his name is Hai and he is tall and skinny and hence Skinny Hi.

A truly impressive man

A truly impressive man

Mr Hai was our guide on our visit to the infamous Cu Chi Tunnels – a massive network of inter-connecting tunnels, near Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon). The tunnels were the location of several military campaigns during the Vietnam War and were used by Viet Cong soldiers as hiding spots during combat, as well as serving as hospitals, food and weapon caches and living quarters for North Vietnamese fighters.

An Officer and translator for the Americans, Mr Hai fought with the South Vietnamese Army. He graphically described the missions he went on and brought tears to my eyes as he recounted two terrible events.

The first was where he was having a smoke with a fellow Vietnamese soldier on the banks of the Mekon.  One minute they were chatting, the next, his friend was dead, shot through the head by a sniper from the other side of the river.  The second horrific incident was about an American who he befriended called Mac.  They were on a combat mission deep in to enemy territory, chatting about Mac’s return home the following week to see his family, his Tour of Duty over.  He never made it.  Five minutes later, just 10 metres ahead of Mr Hai, he was shot and killed.  Mr Hai described how he closed Mac’s eyes and prayed for the dead man.

The Cu Chi Tunnels were akin to my visit to Auschwitz/Birkenau Concentration Camp in Poland. Death and destruction everywhere.  Giant craters where B52 bombs had fallen.  Gruesome man traps that killed and maimed.  And yet there were still far too many tourists that were happy to pay their $10 and go and fire an AK47.  The sound of gun-shots piercing the peace of the jungle.  Short memories some people – this a war memorial, not a theme park.

One of our group J, heads into the tunnel complex

One of our group “J”, heads into the tunnel complex…. Sarah and I crawled underground for 100 metres in temperatures exceeding 40C


A booby trap - the spikes were covered in faceas

A booby trap – the spikes were covered in faeces

But through it all Mr Hai, showed remarkable peace and serenity.  He was not angry.  He was just happy to be alive.  Happy that he had children and grandchildren.  Happy to see the sunrise each morning.

So what is happiness?

That quest to understand still continues for me.  But if I learnt anything over the past 7 days, I guess it’s all about leaving the proverbial baggage behind in one’s life, recognising what you have, appreciating the simple things and helping others along the way.  Oh and celebrating when Middlesbrough get promoted – I did say WHEN.

Jumping for joy (my Mum)

Jumping for joy (my Mum) *

Thanks to Chris Denby for the two photographs*

Categories: South East Asia Blog

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17 thoughts on “Happiness is…. A packet of Imodium. Note: This blog contains some nasty stuff!

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  1. That photo of poorly Sarah is so touching, I bet she will hate it tho 🙂
    The sheer spectrum of experiences you are sharing is staggering thank you for continuing to share them with us

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wendy Dziminowicz

    I hope Sarah is feeling better- I would imagine that you miss home the most when you’re not feeling good. Really enjoying the posts. I’m thinking that Mark has a future writing for travel magazines. When are you guys heading to Thailand? My son is heading there for 6 weeks on Monday – it would be amazing if you crossed paths along the way. Keep the posts coming!!! Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lena

    Sarah you manage to look amazing even whilst sleeping – get well soon ! Lena

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Get well soon Mrs. B! 🙂 With chilly greetings from wonderful Turin…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Claire

    Take it easy Sarah – I remember the feeling in Egypt – I still pity the poor person who followed me into the toilet when we were on the ‘desert trip’ – joking apart, a bout like this can make you pretty tired for a few days so make sure you rest/drink.

    You will be studying Psychology ‘A’ Level next M! Dare I say it but maybe Rev. Arthur Bailey has something to do with your questioning – just a thought?!

    Sending lots of love,


    Liked by 1 person

  6. Mary@icloud.com

    Oh gosh. Get well soon Sarah. And a very thought provoking blog too. What indeed is happiness and following on from a similarly thought provoking sermon yesterday at the RMA, what is truth? Hmm

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Chris Thompson

    Seeing your photos brought back very happy memories of our time in Vietnam. The tunnels were more than thought provoking. How right you are about happiness being experiences not possessions. Have always thought that. Hope Sarah is now better.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hi Lucan and Karen, thanks a lot for your notes – yes we have managed well so far…. I hope things get back to some sort of normality in France. Stay safe. Lucan and Sarah


  9. Get well soon Sarah. I got the new dictionary and also a rather splendid looking Thesaurus but I still have no words to comment on the amazing (sounds so drab) completely stunning (scenery?) adventure (sounds like a fiction book) that I am reading. As you say experience is happy, not a new Lexus (although that still gives me a kick!) or a Mars bar (other confectionary is available). I have always believed in people and exchanging ideas and meeting people to learn and experience what they know. The world is shrinking but despite those lunatics in Paris, love can still be found and cherished across the planet. Once we lose that love of one another, we lose the reason to exist and that is why you must travel, you must learn, you must take in as much experience as you can possibly handle. No one gets out of here alive but some leave with a greater knowledge and insight than others: they are the lucky ones. Travel safe and enjoy every single god damn moment. And praise which ever god you follow for digital photography, because I was trying to calculate how many rolls of film you would be carrying around with you by now, but I ran out of fingers!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Simon Partington

    Lucan & Sarah….we are enjoying your chronicles with a degree of envy and escapism especially whilst France is in ‘lock down’ due to recent events.
    Really it is quite remarkable that you’ve both lasted so long without ‘tummy’ troubles considering the array of tastes & experiences you’ve subjected yourselves to.
    Stay safe,

    Simon & Karen

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